Back in elementary school, I used to keep a diary. My first one was a cute little thing, pink with a picture of Hello Kitty on the front and a matching lock + key, and pages that were all different colors. The perfectionist style of mine was prominent even back then, evidenced by how I rewrote several entries because I didn't start them how they "should" be started, i.e. with the phrase 'Dear Diary'.
That lock + key probably ensured the safest diary I ever owned... because every other diary/journal I kept after that was broken into.
I loved stationary with a fiery passion. Still do, actually (it's why I love back-to-school shopping). So when I got a new notebook -this time with a rapping teddy bear on the front that was ready to drop some hot BEATS- it wasn't out of the question that I was pretty excited.
Finding a perfect glittery purple pen, writing in that thing let me release any feeling that I couldn't hold in or couldn't tell anyone. It was a good outlet for pent up negative energy; as a small nine-year old dealing with small and sometimes blown out of proportion nine-year old drama it was a particularly nice system.
Extended family came to visit around this time. My family and them went somewhere nice for vacation, and I brought my diary with me because why not? I wanted to document every day, wasn't that reasonable?
This vacation wasn't just my family + extended family. It was also with the family of my childhood friend, a sweet girl. For the majority of the trip, I hung out with my friend (we are going to call her Ess) and a favorite relative of mine who was only a couple years older than me (we'll call her Cake). These people were two of my favorite people in the world.
One day, there was a moment in which Cake completely ditched me to hang out with Ess. That, along with something that she said, really really upset nine-year old me. Two of my favorite people left me, on a vacation we were supposed to be having fun, and were really rude about it? I didn't like it.
And so, I wrote it all in my journal. I wrote that I hated her. Did I mean it? No, but I was upset. I was mad. It was my journal anyway, I could write what I wanted. It's supposed to be private.
On the way back home I was holding my notebook with me in the backseat of the big 'ol car. This car was an entanglement of many legs and arms and a bit cramped, for it attempted to hold two families. As I fell asleep during the long drive, it become revealed to me later that during the period of which I was sleeping, Cake and her mother read every word I wrote about her.
Cake's mom made me apologize to her.
I am all for apologies. I hate conflict, I hate unnecessary drama that could easily have been avoided, I hate grudges. But one thing I did not -and still do not- believe in was apologizing for what I had written. Let me reiterate what I said earlier:
I was upset. I was mad. In a healthy way to take out this anger, I wrote out my feelings in my journal. For me, it was a good release. It was meant to be private, I shouldn't have had to apologize for feelings that were valid. They wanted me to apologize for something they should not have read in the first place.
This was only one of many breaches of my personal privacy. This, along with the other experiences, made me stop journaling altogether. Once in a blue moon I would find a random notebook and scrawl down jagged thoughts and made sure to hide it somewhere, but that hardly counts. I abandoned the concept of a journal, a diary, whatever because I knew that someone would read my thoughts.
Someone would read what I had written and in some way, invalidate my feelings.
I wasn't okay with that.
It's 2016 now, and as a birthday gift my friends gave me notebooks. They know I love stationary and art (I got some of those cool "older" coloring books too), and got me several notebooks and gel pen sets. Everything was so beautiful, and I loved it all, and gosh darn it I love my friends. When I opened my friend Nicole's lovely gift and it had this cute ornately decorated notebook that said "and so the adventure begins..." on it, I knew it was a sign. I was willing to try again.
I always loved the concept of a journal! The way you could document moments, ideas, and thoughts in such a personal way is so... intimate. I'm trying again. I want to learn + grow, and I definitely don't want to forget any of the best moments of my life.
The first entry has already been written, and alongside it I wrote a little list of what I, as a person, want to strive toward being:
Here's to the rest of 2016 and the rest of our lives ahead being good for all of us.
// with love ; kimiko hope
"...We like to be together, in the place where we belong." -6teen
So we were all sitting around the campfire, with the birthday girl at the head of the circle. One by one, we all told her reasons why we loved her, and why we loved being her friend. The atmosphere was so warm, we were all laughing, sitting and standing shoulder to shoulder. Someone even had a guitar and was singing.
It was so highschool-esque, man. Like right from a movie.
shoutout to Schmagster i love you
Have you ever thought about if your life was a TV show, what it would be like?
I mean imagine it: the episodes, the plots, the movie specials, the cliffhangers, the ships...
(Heh, we are not going to talk about ships. That's another story for another time.)
Welcome to my life the TV show (I mean you're already reading my life as a blog, so why not?).
Season 1, Episode 1: The Pilot
I remember when I first moved here. It wasn't a surprise, for if this move was like any of the others, the longest I would be staying was three years. We were bringing all of our stuff inside, and I was standing on the driveway when two girls came up to me and introduced themselves. It would turn out that we were all the same age, and we were all going to the same school. One of those girls would end up being a really good friend of mine (and honestly, my only friend for the first few months).
She invited me over to her house, where we sat in the backyard and talked. As we were sitting on her patio, she pointed as she told me about how she would put a hose at the top of her slide when her and her siblings wanted to beat the summer heat.
Season 1, Episode 37: Motorcycles and Rainbows
A year later, and I'm still in the same town. The teacher is assigning seats by alphabetical order. The girl in front of me pronounced part of my name wrong, calling me "Padoodle" (and evidently, the nickname stuck). The girl to my right on the other hand, would end up being one of my best friends. We both shared a love for reading, writing, Phineas and Ferb and the rubber ducky song. After reading The Landry News by Andrew Clements in class, we both wanted to start a class newspaper. She would be Leslie, and I would be Cassandra (we had this thing for aliases), and we were going to call it LesCass News. "Leslie" 's dad jokingly told us to change the name, since 'LesCass' had a bad word in it.
(I didn't get the joke until later.)
Season 3, Episode 6: It Happened on a Thursday
We're in middle school, and wow are we immature. A boy I recently met in chorus (after consistent insisting for him to join from Jill the year prior) lightheartedly claimed that he was going to audition for the school play, Peter Pan. One of us pointed out he would have to wear green tights, which was hilarious to us at the time, and we jokingly made up The Green Tights story.
let's just say the story was strange but beautiful
Jill would end up getting a crush on this boy later. So we made a bet, I had five dollars on him asking her out, and she had five dollars on that he wasn't. And he did. On a Thursday morning, in the cafeteria, he came up to our lunch table and asked her if she would go out with him.
She slipped me the five dollars she owed me on the way to class.
Valentine's Day Movie Special: Who Shot Cupid's Arrow
Oh we all know the story by now. But seriously though, there is no doubt that this would be a Valentine's Day movie special chick flick. #Jandon, the so called ship name of Jill and the bf, has broken up, and now he likes this other girl and is waiting for the right moment (aka Valentine's Day) while his best friend also likes the same girl. After a ton of drama that could've easily been avoided if they talked it out (I mean seriously, why didn't you talk it out?!), it all ends well.
Season 5, Episode 22: It Wasn't Supposed to be Like This
Pretty boy and Mickey are dating. To put it simply. (Oh, wait. You haven't met Pretty Boy yet! Long story short: he's a friend, he's a boy. And he's pretty.) They got together in the beginning of the school year, and now it's a month later and we are at homecoming. The theme is a night in Paris, and all the couples were writing their name on paper locks and hanging them on the wall. (The friend group fave was Brennathan, who wasn't together at the time but got together later on. Ironically, they had seven locks on the wall... To bad they broke up, since the gf went out of the country for a year.) Pretty boy is sitting at one of the tables outside of where the dance is taking place.
Mickey isn't with him.
She's been gone all night, because her friend didn't like him, and didn't want her spending time with him. It's a school dance, he had a girlfriend, and Pretty Boy was still alone.
p.s. they broke up later.
Season 5, Episode 34: Shut Up and Dance with Me
Homecoming of the next year! To be honest, I don't remember much... But I do know that we all had a great time. Since both of us didn't have dates, one of my best friends "proposed" to me (shoutout to the wife ily), and even though she didn't like dances, another one of my friends came out to the dance. I didn't know half the songs honestly, and when Geronimo came on I whispered to my friend that I only knew it because it was in an episode of one of our favorite shows.
Eventually we decided to sit down and rest, but the second we heard Sugar We're Going Down by Fall Out Boy play, we all ran back out to the dance floor. Some didn't know the words, and were failing to sing along, but we were all still smiling as we sang together.
Season 6, Episode 51: Humanity Against the Cards
We were at a birthday party. All the boys were playing video games, and all the girls were in the corner talking about ex-boyfriends with clammy hands, how pretty girls can be, and talking about people who used to be our friends. We played Cards Against Humanity (10/10 would recommend), and half of us decided to watch a zombie movie.
The other few went off into a different part of the room, still talking until the night ended. We talked about weird dreams (I had a dream that me and a couple of my good friends were all in this pickup truck, dressed up like we were in Taylor Swift's Bad Blood. There were explosions, we had knives, we were saving the world, and for some reason this entire building turned into sand) and when we were telling true scary stories, Mickey made a joke saying, "Wanna know a secret? I see dead people... Everytime I kill someone."
With half an hour left, she made a comment saying that the best conversations happened right before everyone leaves. I don't remember what we talked about, but she was right.
Sometimes, I wish I was one of those people who brought a video camera everywhere to record my life. I'd want to look back on it.
If your life was a show, would you watch it? If the answer is no, then you just might want to change that.
Live a life worth watching. Live a life worth remembering.
P.S. happy new year everyone!
Let's flashback to a girl named Elle
Who unknowingly, was in for quite a spell
And what's a story with no twist here and there?
Click "read more" if you dare...
The third installment to Who Shot Cupid's Arrow and An Arrow Shot to the Heart
My summer work is done, and the school year has begun! Wanna hear about my first day? I'm gonna tell you about my first day.
New school, new year, and new people! Sounds exciting, right? Hahaha no.
First off: the bus. Alas this was different from my first day of three years ago (in which I sat next to some random smelly upperclassman), but still... The bus was even more crowded than usual. Typically, a good 5-7 people end up sitting by themselves. But the world smacked that notion out of the air and decided, "Lol, let's make your bus severely crowded! Where everyone -and I mean everyone- must sit two to a seat!"
Moment of silence for those with big butts, and had to share their seat with someone else who also had a big butt. And bless those with small butts.
Aaand next up: going to classes. That in itself was literally a giant um, no. 'New school' meant I had to ask three different teachers each time I wanted to go somewhere, because I had no idea where I was going. I felt like one of those Flow games, and I was going in some weird snake-like pattern to each class.
It sucked. I was just counting minutes until lunch, because lunch is where food happens.
And oh boy, lunch was a whole new experience. My friend Jill and I had lunch together (thank you Greek god of scheduling lunch periods), so we walked in and our faces were literally just:
No joke, we both said that. Simultaneously. (Jill and I aren't even telepathic or whatever anymore, we are connected on a spiritual level)
There were just so many people, and so much food, and just... Food was happening and it was so intense mmkay
The rest of my classes were a wild goose chase to get to, but the teachers overall are amazing. (There's this one teacher though, who tries so hard to be funny, but it doesn't work... I feel so bad for them...)
So that's it. I barely know anyone in some of my classes, so I'm going to have to be extra social this year! I'M SO READY FOR THIS, YES.
just kidding i am not ready someone teach me social skills please and thank you
*shudders* Talking with people I don't know scares me...
On the bright side, I was reunited with three wonderful people! One is my friend who I haven't seen in three years, the other was my other friend who had to transfer schools (so I didn't see him for a year), and the third was just a cool guy I met a couple months before.
Cool guy is currently being shipped with Jill, by the way. They are adorkable, and they're childhood biffles so... #Jathan
And that's how my first day went. How did your first day's go? Comment below!
See you later loves, Kimiko Hope~
If you thought the last post's saga was dramatic, gurl, I'm not even done yet. [I swear, half of my life should be a reality show. Because this seems like a really cliché chick flick]
Okay, before you proceed, make sure you have read Part I: Who Shot Cupid's Arrow!
Everything cool? Hit "Read More..." if you wanna know what happens next!
Drama bomb! On Tuesday, February 18th of 2014, serious schist went freaking down.
Want to know more? Click "Read More" to find out!
Why hello, my pretties! Meet Nicole: One of my closest friends ever. I met her three years ago, and let me just say.
We talked a little too much.
Like, legit, I had a letter sent home saying that I was being too talkative during class. [It was math, anyway... So it wasn't like anyone was paying any attention]
But we became friends like that *snaps*. And apparently, I'm interesting enough to be talked about, because she talked a lot about me at home.
Problem here is, her parents never met me.
Can't blame her for talking about me, I'm a pretty interesting person... Just kidding, just kidding!
But anyway, it got so intense, her parents were questioning my existence. They didn't know whether to believe I was a real person or not.
I kind of just... I mean. I'm a person, I'm pretty sure I'm existing.
It was so bad they thought I was imaginary.
Birthdays come once a year, so they must be celebrated! Nicole's special day eventually came round, and she invited me to her party. I was the first one to get there, and you know what I said? First impressions set the stage on how people feel about you, you know.
"Hi, I'm Kimiko Hope. And I'm not imaginary."
It's official: he may or may not be a thug, but he is the new Mockingjay.
And how do I know this, you ask? I know lots of things.
Anyhoozies, life is cruel, so the schedule for the next day was all messed up. My friend and I had rehearsal for this thing, but the schedule was sliced up, down, and sideways...
We couldn't even order pizza for lunch. It's like the world freaking ended.
[I was so hungry... >.<]
It was like 2012 all over again- yay apocalypse, amiright? #dejavumuch
Speaking of apocalypses, what if they were wrong? What if the world will end in 3012?
Well sucks for those future people.
But then again, the world ending is not that much of a step down. I mean, really guys- all movies about the future nowadays are about death.
We would live in District 12.
BAM I'M KATNISS. I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE.
Now all I need is a guy to chuck some bread at me and I'm all set!
My friend could totally survive the Games though. He could stab them in the face with his bow like he used to do to me.
I can see it now:
Swampy, District 12
Weapon of Choice: Bow and Violin
"Death by Music"
*Swampy walks in*
Swampy: May the odds be ever in your favor.
*He does the thing*
It's not like he totally started a rebellion or anything.
But I guess that makes him the new Mockingjay, doesn't it?
Yes, yes it does.
Happy new year! :3 *kisses three fingers, holds them up and whistles*
Doo doo doo doooo.
Okay, I think we can all agree that Disney is pretty hackin' awesome. *yelling is heard offscreen*
What?! No. He wouldn't...
Guys, he's back. Swampy. [He's such a mattoid, omg] You see, my fellow Dorks, Swampy said that he doesn't really like Disney.
Okay, so he said he has never heard of Mulan. Problem here, guys. We needed to fix this immediately. And then, Swampy said, "I don't really like Disney. They just randomly break into song like it's the end of the world."
First of all,
Mulan is the freaking amazing, guys. There's a fat guy, a talking dragon, and a cross dressing teenage girl. What's not to like? I mean really. For freaking realzies.
Apparently, it's... "Different" and "Unrealistic".
Pff, you guys. A talking dragon is totally realistic. Obviouslyy. Well, Swampy is simply a tree. He is such a freaking tree.
And being a tree is so not hair flippin' fabulous. Which brings me to my next point: Swampy has no hair to hair flippin' flip. Which is a problem.
I mean, how else can you do this?!
So logically, he should get a wig.
A majestic one, at that.
Naturally, The Doctor always has a companion. And apparently, his companion wasn't there.
She was obviously time traveling. Obviously. And when your companion is obviously time traveling, you obviously get her, right? Amiright?
Anyway, the Doctor couldn't go after her right away. He spilled orange juice on the T.A.R.D.I.S., and it got absolutely everywhere. I mean, it even got the bread soggy! Fah 'sho.
It was just being difficult.
So, he started working on it. You don't just leave your companion in 1567, she would probably get angry! [Besides, what if there's no indoor plumbing? Lemme just say: Nahstayy.]
He got it fixed eventually, though. But the thing was... The T.A.R.D.I.S. wasn't good at exact dates at the moment.
The world is against us today, hm? I mean,
I KID, I KID!
But seriously. Since it wasn't good at exact dates, it might go a couple months after. But, #YODO right?
As the best friend of the companion, I went into the T.A.R.D.I.S. as well. I mean, what could go wrong? [Ah, the famous last words.]
To the past! *pumps fist in the air*
FOR THE CAMPANION!
Whoops, wrong TV show. I mean movie...
Anyhoo, so we went to 1567. And uh oh: she isn't there. The town we left her in isn't there anymore.
Yes, we were in the right location.It was in the place, you know? You know where the place is. The big village place with the two rivers going through it?
Yerp! The place.
So, that eliminates 1567. The Doctor realized that maybe he didn't leave his companion in 1567- but maybe in 1467.
*whoosh time machine sounds*
And now we are in 1467, and he hands me a yoyo [why he has a yoyo, we'll never know folks]. Being the easily distracted person I am, I play with it [yoyos ftw!].
Little did I know, he was checking out some stuff while I was distracted. When he was done, he said, "Alright, that seems okay, now jump in the river. Then toss me the yoyo."
At first I was like, "Um, wha...?" then- "WHY AM I JUMPING INTO A FREAKING RIVER?!"
He retorted, "I am testing the gravity, now JUMP IN THE RIVER."
So I did -a bit reluctantly I might add [I think I shouted "FINE" somewhere in there]- and tossed him the yoyo.
For a person that wasn't athletic, I'd say it was a pretty good throw. But he didn't catch it.
Something wasn't right with the gravity. Did I mention I had to stay in the river while he went back to the T.A.R.D.I.S. for two hours? It was freezing!
And the worst part is... *hangs head down sadly* I didn't have any food... Food is good.
But on the bright side, he found out where she was! In the future, the year of 2328 [and she didn't invite me?! I wanna go to the future. I wonder if by that time Gangnam Style will be considered a "traditional dance"...].
So... To the future we go?
Instead we're going to the moon! [ooh, twist!]
Why the moon? We had to find the guy who had the time machine she stole. Duh.
So to the moon we go!
Once we got there, he handed me a hat so I could breathe on the moon.
And it wasn't a fedora.
It was a cowboy hat.
Psh yeah, I still took it [besides, cowboy hats are still pretty cool]. I wanted to breathe! It's kinda the thing you need to do to, well, you know... Stay alive.
But the problem was, he had a fedora.
Suddenly, his companion pops out of nowhere. [Apparently, she was on the corner of Homework Rd. and Stupid Computers Blvd. *face palm* [*Yells off-screen*: We should've checked there first!]]
And of course, the favored companion gets a fedora too. Of course.
The life lesson of this uber long story is: The Doctor and his girlfriend get fedoras, while the best friend of the companion doesn't. Oh, and Perry gets a fedora too, because he's purdy darn awesome.
i'm winnie, an average teen. aka i sleep too much yet i'm tired all the time.
a rambling of sorts
gather around i have a story
it's called fangirling
lonely hearts club
the olden days